Of Peanut Butter
by Blind Solitude
Summary: Shinji is bored. You can guess what that means- especially when he finds a jar of a certain sticky, nutty spread. One-shot.


**Now for a break from depressing stories; an attempt at humor. It's probably a failure where 'humor' is concerned, but whatever. Enjoy anyway^^**

**Note- if you haven't read/watched the very end of the Fullbring arc, it may be lightly spoilery. Warning you now.**

* * *

Shinji Hirako was bored. Now, to someone who doesn't know the Captain of the Fifth Squad, that may seem like a normal, innocent, four-worded phrase.

It isn't.

Now, for someone like Shinji, who had spent the past 100 years with a small group in the human world, this was a problem. According to the Sou-Taicho, Shinji's favorite past times are _'strictly prohibited'_ or _'a bad example from someone of captain-class'_. Most of his pranks generally ended with the same lecture. The Soul Society was simply far to strict, something that he intended to change. But not today, no, today he just needed something to cure his boredom. What he needed was amusement. Except nothing came to mind. His sweet little lieutenant was out somewhere, so he couldn't chat with {read: bother} her. Kensei was out hollow-hunting and Rose was...busy with whatever he used his spare time for, so those two were also out. He briefly considered bugging Byakuya or Soi-fon, but considering how _that_ always turned out, he moved on fairly quickly from that one. Okay, so that basically left pranks. Obviously, it was the only logical thing he could do. Now, for _what_, and for _whom?_

There was the obvious possibility of re-using things he had already done, but if he did that, the Sou-Taicho might think he was _trying_ to be irritating. Shinji laughed at the thought. No, all he wanted was entertainment {well, unless a certain uptight someone who hated him was involved. _That_ was about being irritating}. It was along these thoughts that Shinji got the light bulb moment. He crouched down and pulled a chest out from under the chair that he had strategically placed it and quickly opened it up. Now, a very select few knew about this chest. The chest itself was pretty unspectacular, but, it is the inside that counts, right? The inside of which was filled with human world 'treasure'. After all, who could spent so much time there and not be amazed with the things they come up with? It was assorted things, including {but not limited to} a DS, one of those perfectly packaged onigiri*, a toy microphone, an Ipod, a packet of mint-flavored gum, a small jar of peanut butter...peanut butter, huh? Shinji could feel his signature grin taking over his face; his boredom already becoming something of the past. That took care of the _what_, now for the _who_...

XxX

The Eleventh Squad was having a fairly normal day. That is, as normal as you can get given the people who inhabited the place. To an average being: not normal at all. To the Squad: yup, nothing new. Only seven members had to go the 4th today, Kenpachi had gotten lost, Yachiru had sent one of the earlier stated seven to the 4th because he had run out of candy, Yumichika had only thrown one tantrum today...same old, same old. Of course, if it had lasted, well, then they wouldn't be in Seireitei. Or, indeed, the Eleventh Squad. As it happened, the abnormal started just where the most normal was in this place- the training grounds. The main morning practice had just finished, so only a few remained. That was when he entered. The abnormal.

"Hey, hey, Eleventh Squad! How does this fine day treat you?"

"What are you doin' here?" Was Kenpachi's gruff reply.

The one is question just smiled wider, and strode farther into the room, taking his sweet time and building suspense {or, in Kenpachi's case, irritation} until he was in the middle. There, he slowly produced the jar and a spoon with the air of someone showing off something magical, "Why, to give Yachiru here a little treat- I hear she likes 'em. This here is from the Human World, see, and it's really-" At the sound of 'treat' Yachiru had stopped listening and leaped off her perch on Kenpachi, before racing to Shinji and eagerly hopping around. Still smiling, the Captain carefully unscrewed the cap and gave her a huge spoonful of the stuff. Tentatively, the unsuspecting girl took a small bite. The sticky, salty but somewhat sweet, completely bizarre substance brought a smile to Yachiru's face, and, giggling, she took a giant bite- almost the whole spoonful. This was where Shinji's smile grew even wider- something that wouldn't {or shouldn't} seem possible by _anyone's_ standards. It soon became obvious that there was a problem, for though she tried to swallow her new-found interest, it only stuck to her mouth and teeth. Shinji watched for two minutes as she struggled, eventually sitting down to try to sort out the strange treat. Kenpachi, for his part, had no idea what the problem was or why food could cause so much trouble. That wasn't something Shinji intended to stay around for. After he had gotten a fair share of laughs, he hurried out and flash-stepped back to the Fifth division. Once there, he put his chest of Human Treasures back; his boredom lifted.

Not a bad day after all. Now for the gum...

* * *

**Okay, so how was it? I think we all know that Shinji would do this; just as we all know we would sit around playing on a DS all day. I was going to include Shinji getting punished and his treasure chest confiscated...but I got lazy. I hope the ending wasn't to abrupt. Constructive criticism would be much appreciated...or any comments. If you hated it, I'd love to know why c:**

***for those who don't know, onigiri are those rice balls^^**


End file.
